AND FINALLY: The Forgotten

Bob ‘The Cat’ Bevan’ is a frequent airline traveller, and probably Britain’s best known after dinner speaker with an MBE to his credit. 

The following ode pays attention to Charles Dickens, Ron Moody and Lionel Bart.

Bob “Reviews the Situation”.  The Oliver lyrics can be found here. 

And more about Bob Bevan and some wonderful videos.


THE FORGOTTEN

So here we are in lockdown
But one group Boris did bypass
He seems to have forgotten
Us, the British criminal class

We are going to lose income
Of that there is no doubt
How can you be a burglar
When no one’s going out?

Nor does it stop right there
It really makes me sick
Pickpockets are redundant
With no pockets left to pick

With the streets now so empty
For days I haven’t sold a drug
If it goes on like this
There’ll soon be no one left to mug

The list goes on and on
We’ve lost several other blags
There are no pubs left open
Where we can sell our dodgy fags

And there is another area
To which my mind is drifting
There are very few shops open
To practice our shoplifting

In any case with this queueing
By people very thick
Who insist on panic buying
Means there’s nothing left to nick

While the banks may be open
A robber won’t get very far
When he has to social distance
From the driver of the getaway car

The immigrant trade is over
No more sailing through the foam
With England now in lockdown
They’re better off back home

So listen to us Boris
I know you’re very wise
With all this profiteering
We can’t afford to sanitise

Your Chancellor must hear our pleas
A refusal would be rash
We need self-employed support
And we’d prefer it all in cash

If that proves impossible
For we are such poor old souls
We are happy to be paid
With several dozen toilet rolls


Copyright: Bob “the Cat” Bevan MBE 2020

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Lyn Buttifant, Smallfield

I was recently forgotten by Virgin Atlantic in Jamaica - took me out and then "forgot" to bring me back. Their excuse - WHO had declared a public health emergency on 30Jan. They took me out on 10Mar!!