AND FINALLY: The name is Po…

Flushed with pride at the success of its so-called “inimitable talking toilets”, Virgin Trains, far from being drained of ideas, is coming out of the closet and moving to the next stage of development – finding a new voice for the chatty loos, hopefully without provoking a chain reaction.

These are not your bog-standard facilities but ones where passengers, who seem to like and loathe them in fairly equal measure, are greeted with a brisk hello and instructions on what to do next.

Now the hunt is on for someone to perform the voice-over. Apply to Virgin Trains, not BTN, but we have our own suggestion. There is apparently a well-known TV star, a member of the Teletubbies (ask your kids). Her name is Po…

Mind you, Virgin Trains is renowned for its toilet humour. Its notice on the facilities reads: “Please don’t flush nappies, sanitary towels, paper towels, gum, old phones, unpaid bills, junk mail, your ex’s sweater, hopes, dreams or goldfish down this toilet.”

Perhaps Virgin Atlantic can come up with something when its first A350 is unveiled shortly. BTN suggests "Do not linger. Please enjoy your proper seat!"

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Catherine Chetwynd, London

Perhaps Virgin Atlantic could remove the unnecessary frosted windows in aircraft loos and bill theirs as the loo with a view